dreams, family, love, migraines

Baby Arrived!

She actually came early! But I’ve been so exhausted I hadn’t even thought about writing until now. On the morning of January 29th, I went to the OB for a check up and non-stress test. Her monitor/heart rhythm had them concerned, so I was sent over to the L&D Dept at the hospital for an ultrasound and further monitoring. After the ultrasound, it turned out she was perfectly fine, but I was not. My BP was through the roof! Which explains why I had felt awful that entire week. I had developed Pre-eclampsia. The doctor on call came in and talked to me about how high my BP was and said they were admitting and inducing me. I was 37 weeks and 1 day. They started a magnesium drip as well, and it was awful…it gave me a migraine I then had for 4 days. I was in labor after being induced for 38 hours. Once dilated, I pushed for 2.5 hours and she was stuck, so we ended up in an emergency c-section. When the doctor told me we were moving to a c-section, I don’t think I could have been happier… I just had nothing left in me to give. She was born at 5:24am on January 31st. 6lbs 6oz and 19.3 inches. She was perfect! Her name is Morticia. She had to stay in the NICU for 5 days due to a breathing episode she had which was caused by the magnesium drip that I had to have. She lost over a lb in the hospital and I was so worried, but she is gaining it back. I’m not breast feeding, I’m bottle feeding and we’re making our own formula which is working so well. I’m not breast feeding because I knew I would need to get back on my migraine medications and they’re not safe for her. I wanted to be the best mommy I can be so I can take care of her.

She is a month old now, and as of today weighs 8lbs 9oz. She looks just like me…I made these side by side comparisons to my baby pics…it’s wild! She’s so beautiful and I still can’t believe we made her.

I’ve been telling people that I believe she saved my life. If they hadn’t thought something was wrong with her amniotic fluid due to her heart rate, they wouldn’t have sent me to the hospital and my Pre-eclampsia might not have been caught. At the highest, my BP was 190 over 95. So she’s my little angel!

We are so completely in love with her!

Pics from the hospital.

dreams, family, love

IT’S A GIRL!!!

We found out yesterday at the anatomy scan that we are having a baby girl!!! I’m so excited, and here is a picture of my sweet baby girl’s little face. I am legit so in love! And this is all I have to say today. We just can’t wait to meet this little glo-worm!

dreams, family, friends, love, mental shit, migraines

Major decision…

My hubby and I have been trying to get pregnant for over 1.5 years, and no success. We had stuff check out firtility wise and it’s not bad bad, but not great either…and it’s mostly to be expected due to age. Well, I am unable to continue down this path right now because of my health. My migraines are out of control and my bipolar/anxiety has ramped up.

Last Friday, 8/23, I had to leave work early due to a headache that had me in tears, I headed to Salem and was going to Urgent Care, I started to feel like I might actually pass out from the pain, which induced a full blown panic attack and more tears. By the time u reached Urgent Care I felt like I could be having a stroke…I wasn’t, but all those things combined made me feel like it.

So Jason and I had very lengthy discussions about this journey, and decided I can’t keep living like this. I’m miserable and tired and not happy at all. We are disappointed that we were unable to create a life together, but we have decided to adopt. And we know that once we have that baby, we will love it just as much as if we had created it.

So I spoke with my headache specialist yesterday and we are putting me on Tizanidine again and trying amerge for when I have a migraine and also trying Aimovig monthly shots for prevention.

It’s like a huge weight has been lifted! I will see my Psych in 2 weeks and get my IUD in 3 weeks. I just can’t even begin to explain how relieved I feel that I can get myself healthy before we bring a baby home.

Also Jason is done with school. He passed with straight A’s and I couldn’t be more proud of him! 🖤🖤🖤 I love that man so much! He also bought me a new wedding set that is citrine, which is my favorite!